funz stories, funz life

Saturday, May 09, 2009

looking forward

Just a blink of eye, times to make decision.

I know what I want to do and I know what I am going to do. I only care for some ppl who are impt to me and how my decision could affect them. But the rest, I will not give a damn. .

Yes, this time I still want to work for someone who will appreciate me always! I shouldnˇt be silly anymore to abandon someone so call partner, friends or colleagues, or superior, or whatever who has been nice to me. I strongly believe chances wonˇt always wait for me to grab. I will regret if I give it a miss. .

Fortunately, I am given the chance again and this time round, I just want to grab it and hold it nicely. Probably I am just belongs to where should I belongs to. So why bother to look for other place that might suit me most. Just donˇt waste the time man! .

I feel happy and relieved now as I got few things lining up in the near future. I am looking forward to see it happen. I have already taken the very first step. Although i feel guilty but I have no regrets and I wonˇt be soft hearted this time. I am planning for the next trip by end of the month. Yeah! Long time never go for holidays due to some personal reasons. And yeah Finally hahha. .

It will be a new start in June this year. I believe it will be an exciting and challenging journey to me. In fact, I am well prepared and ready to go this time. I should be grateful I am still having the opportunity during this economy crisis. So. All I can say.. just enjoy. J

Posted at 12:46 am by funz
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Saturday, May 02, 2009

Finding an alternative

During this economy crisis and swine flu issue, we should appreciate and treasure what we are having right now including our job and the health. But human is always like this, as long as you donˇt feel the impact on you, we wonˇt know the seriousness it is. Although we have been reading and watching the daily news on updated info on the current issue, we still want to search for alternate way just to ensure ourselves are happy with what we are doing.

Yes. I am looking for alternative.

In fact, I am a bit lost. I feel painful when I know I am unable to fulfill my dreams within my own ability. You know, most of the time, the dream couldnˇt be achieved with the strength of our own hand. Thatˇs why we need a team.

6 months of probation is going to the end soon. I have no regrets of coming into g world. At least I have learnt something that I didnˇt manage to learn when I was in a small company. Work-life is super balanced to me. This is indeed a good break for me for 6 months. But yet I feel lacking of something. I feel lost. I feel empty. I feel like wasting of time. I donˇt even know why I want to continue working in g world. Just want to have work life balance? Just want to have a good pay? But what about my future and happiness? What am I looking for in terms of my career path?

Yes, probably like 1 of the HR (from an interactive agency) has said, maybe I just like to be tortured. LoL. The difference that I realized is I just canˇt find the job satisfaction in where I am now. Yes, it is work life balance and good pay. But so what? I donˇt feel happy and meaningful if I continue of doing this. I donˇt want to be out-dated of current trend in terms of digital world and web technology. This is what I want to do.

Yes. I am looking for alternative.

I just want to escape from g life before confirmation. I have given a lot of serious thought on what should I do next and where should I go for my next job. Somehow, I feel pressure and dishearted for the steps that I wanted to take. I am unable to figure out the right and wrong. I donˇt know if the decision that I am going to make will bring in any inconvenient or discomfort to anyone. Yeah. Afterall, I care for people more than myself.

Maybe I am not so vocal to tell people about my inner thoughts and feeling. As a result, I am giving people an impression that I am a loner and I am too self-centered and I am just be my own most of the times. Or rather I am secretive. Haha.

Anyway. No matter it is, I donˇt want to waste any more time. By end of the week, I shall come out an conclusion and go for it. I would have no regrets and will be firm this time. Wish me luck.

Posted at 12:03 am by funz
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Sunday, April 19, 2009

To pursue my dream, at least i try.

ok. I might have done sth that I might be regret one day.

But it is ok. All i can say is it might not worth the consequences this way. But i will convinced myself, if i dont take this step, everything will just stuck here and it won't last long.

We cant just go far and eventually it will just wasting the precious time.

Yes. Eventually i am just a self-centered person. so just leave me alone.

Life is full of decision making. And i fully understand, we cant win the world. If you wanna gain sth, you will hv to lose sth. This is the price that we need to pay if we want to own sth that we treasure most.

All i hope now is to get me out of this g-world. i just want to do sth that i can feel more sense of satisfaction. Although it ends up i am the only one to pursue my own dream, i hope at least i try, even though it might not succeed one day.

Posted at 11:28 pm by funz
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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Principle of leading ur life

Posted at 02:55 pm by funz
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Thursday, March 19, 2009

random tot of the day

i think the idea of having my own biz is getting stronger. first i dont want to work for gov anymore. second i want to help my auntie to convert her traditional biz to online biz. third i really want to test out my own skills and to see how far i can go. of cos i need some help. how am i going to take the next step? i .... hav no idea yet. zzzz.

Time to submit homework and dont feel to do so. cos it seems like i will be facing another challenge very sooon. with the challenge, i doubt if we can last. i am not positive in this sense.

just finished dinner at my friend's house. the dinner today is "homemade subway". zzzzzzzzzzzz . i never eat such a big bread in my life time as yet. it is so filling and that's enough bread for the month. :(

i start to appreciate devil may cry. such a nice man appear in front of me while you are playing the game. now i understand why some gals likes anime. :P

Posted at 12:50 am by funz
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Thursday, February 19, 2009

No demanding in a friendship.

I think a friendship is not meant for demanding but is meant for understanding and growing together. We have to be understand that we dont owe each other in the first place. There's always a limit when u demand the other party to do something for you. I would say sometime whatever i have done is more than what a friend should do. All becos i want to be helpful.

But some ppl take this for granted and demand me to do the things that what he wants me to do. I cant reject but to do it. But you know if i really do it following what he demanded, i think i would end up being not professional and this is definately against my principle. I tried to explain why i couldnt do it in the first place but he didnt get it and yet he assume i would do it eventually. My mistake for not firmly rejecting the request. But i tot he knows i am just a friend and not be able to advise it becos of some sensitive issue involved. And i believe i already given the request with the best i can provided. All i can think of is his selfish behaviour for his own benefit.

My other friend did warmed me about him before but i tot i could manage it professionally.

Now. Finally conflict happened. He has his own stands and i am holding my own stands as well. We both dont feel at fault in the issue. I am not persistent that i am not at fault throughout the incident. But it doesns't mean i deserve your f attitude towards me by saying those hurtful words on me. In a friendship, i couldnt expect such words appear in front of me. It makes me wonder "i dont owe you anything, do i?" If these are the words that he wants to use on me, i am wondering how valuable i am to this person. It ruins the friendship seriously. Yes,, friendship is all about trust. If you are saying you shouldnt have trust in me in the first place. From that moment, i dont know how to continue the friendship anymore.

You can say I am stubborn and petty. If you want to continue the friendship without a sincere aplogise on the hurtful words that you have used, i cant accept a friend like this. If you think i can be scolded or insulted and later on still remain friend with me without any regret, i cant tell how true you are and i am not sure if i would still getting the same like this in the future. The attitude is like you give a slap to a person and after that you say sorry. Then why are you giving the slap in the first place. Even worse, the sorry dont seem sincered to me.

I rather lose a friend than keep getting insulted. I have my own to answer. One thing for sure is, i would never say those things to all my friends cos i treasure them as how they treasure me. what about u?

Posted at 07:38 pm by funz
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Thursday, January 22, 2009

what is g life?

I started to realise having work in g actually is a good place for us to collect as many certificates as possible in order to prepare ourselves for our next job hopping. Afterall, it is FREE! So why not!

I already gotten 2 certificates in 4 days courses and i Will be having another one next month. Well, i felt happier to attending course than staying in the office doing nothing productive. And most importantly, i am so sick of seeing some ppl doing nothing in office but to find themselves excuses to escape from their work.

it's been 2 mths. i have been figured out how's life in g and i started to realised why i am not suitable in g. i cant believe it when i am 1 of the youngest staff in my division. and i am halo. i already have 6+ years of working experience.

Funny thing is i hate g and i never expect myself to work for them. And now, i am part of their family. how contracdicting of myself. ya.. go ahead and laugh at me!

you know, this 2 mths of work is enough for me to conclude few things if you really want to work for g, you have to fulfil the following criteria:-

1. you must be ready to settle down to get married and hv kids
2. you have to be "mature" enough to work until retire.
3. you have to be familar with g politics
4. you have to be concerned about global economy situation, current affairs as well as singapore budget.
5. you have to be familar with who are the parliament members
6. you have to smart enough to understand their acronyms (try to make things sound chim and PRO)
7. if you are prepared to study part time
8. if you are planned to upgrade youself with more skillset with zero cost.
9. if your desire of work is only 50% or less of your actual working hour in office.
10. if you want to earn more but work less

if you are not looking for 3 or more the above criteria, then this is not the place for you. then you should be like me to make a good use of this opportunity to gain yourself enough working experience and knowledge. After 1 year, move your butts and to somewhere else where you should belong to. One thing for sure, within your stay, dont go with their flow and be a slacker, if you do, you wont be able to move away from there. your whole life will be end up be a slacker to g.

think twice.

Posted at 11:36 pm by funz
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Friday, December 26, 2008

What am I doing at this point of time�..

I feel like I am wasting so much time in office for doing nothing. When most of the people are enjoying their long weekend for the week, I still have to wake up early in the morning, having my healthy breakfast and drag my feet to work. The moment I stepped into office, I know it will be a long day for me to count down for the day to be ended.

It is quite meaningless to work when there's nothing else to work on other than doing facebooking and some "research" on my personal stuffs. Why don't they just announce the company closure so that everyone can enjoy the long weekend during this festive season. I feel like I am wasting too much time after the change.

I am ambitious about my future. I have a perfect plan in mind. But how am I going to execute it, I doubt on my own capability. Cos I have a little concern that my present job culture will slowly take away my motivation and cheong-ing spirit towards my passion and eventually I would become a slacker. No way!

I don't dislike my present job. But the culture difference as compared to my previous job is quite big. It takes me a little bit longer to adapt and live with it. I know is not easy to get over the "honeymoon" period in a new company. But I never want to give up. I just have a lot of frustration and feeling boreddd. That's all.

Ok. i am looking for a wii game "Happy Dance Collection". But it seems like it is not in singapore yet. if really don't have, I might need to purchase it online. :P highly recommended :p

Happy Dance Collection

Posted at 04:30 pm by funz
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Monday, September 22, 2008

理解双子

双子的孤独无药可医，我觉得双子座的孩子根本就不像天平那么圆滑世故，他们的单纯使他们经常把很多事放在感性的放大镜下观看，虽然表面上理性。所有的一切都被虚化被美化，他们的内心认为朋友就是在危难时刻拔刀相助不计后果的，爱情就是简简单单没有伤害的，但事实并不是这样，现实的很多碰壁很多失望令他们手足无措，原来世界并不是他们想象中的那样，而他们追求完美的天性和孤傲的本质令他们与孤独就此结缘，那种痛彻骨髓的冷，无处可诉的悲凉，看着自己亲手毁掉曾经美好的梦想。有人说孤独每个人都有，太自恋了吧。但双子的孤独只有双子自己知道，那是没有可能治好的绝症。因为双子天生就是两个心，两颗脑，他们的感受，他们的所思所想都是双倍的。但他们却只有一个躯体，一个世界。这是一个天生残缺的星座，天生在找寻能与自己契合的另一个人，但谁能找到一个相同的自己？？所以，他们注定这样孤独而劳碌的用一个人的身体承受着两个人的快乐与伤悲，还有永远的孤独。双子不想孤傲，不愿独来独往，（其实大多数双子表面呼朋唤友，内心却从来没有依靠，孤独无依）但他们的敏感和天生的优越感使他们无法妥协。双子，有很多人羡慕他，很多人嫉妒他，很多人厌恶他，几乎没有一个星座能有这样大的争议性。双子的孩子们，他们的眼泪永远多于笑容，那些在阳光下微笑，却用眼泪洗涤如水凉夜的孩子，那些从不愿别人失望但自己却因此精疲力尽的孩子，他们的名字是双子。如果你的爱人是双子，那么请你好好爱他，因为他真的不会自己寻找快乐。

如果你是双子座

如果你是双子座，你就要听清楚了——

你的一生都注定你要去寻找你的另一半。

为了找到你的另一半，你会尝试着和各种不同的人相处、相恋。

在众人的眼里，双子都是花心的，你们花心却不会一脚踏两船，而是经常换船。

然而没有人知道你们这是为了找寻真爱阿！

只要找到了你的另一半，双子就不会再换了，双子的痴情与专一只会给一个人。

双子的痴情是让人惊讶的，就像他们的花心一样让人吃惊。

然而双子又是可悲的，因为那另一半并不是每个双子都能找到的，因此双子总在茫茫人海中寻寻觅觅，找寻真正的爱情。

同时在无意之中伤害了身旁的追随者。

然而事实却是，与双子座的人谈一场恋爱是会让人永生难忘的，这段爱情绝对充满了惊喜与快乐。

所以，喜欢经常换船的双子总能轻易的找到另一条船来换。

爱上双子的人们啊，你享受到了多少快乐？那就不要在乎双子将会带给你多少无情的伤害了。除非你有信心让双子相信你就是他的另一半。

这是真正的双子！

很多人都说双子的不是，心不在焉，花心，等等，在大多人眼里双子似乎一无是处。其实双子是很脆弱的。双子害怕伤害，既不愿意伤害任何人，也不愿任何人伤害他们，并且不信任任何人，所以即便是很要好的一群朋友在一起，有些时候他们也会表现得非常沉默，因为双子的心灵总是孤独的。他们不愿意被人理解，也不屑被人理解，很多时候，即便跟你观点有分歧，他们也不会跟你争吵，他们不屑争吵，只有在偶尔无法忍耐的时候才会弄得面红耳赤；不过对于性情温和的人，他们则极尽口才以达到说服的目的，他们不愿意发生争吵。双子的朋友基本都是泛泛之辈，感情深厚的朋友实在少的可怜。因此寂寞或是不开心时，他们通常也是一个人躲起来一言不发，不去理睬任何人，并且不希望被其他人打扰。大家平时看到的他们并不是真正的他们，他们总是在掩饰自己，连自己也不明白这到底是有意还是无意的。他们的心事通常不会跟任何人讲，即便你刨根问底也徒劳无功，只有当他们愿意倾诉的时候，才会告诉知心的朋友，通常这种机会很少。他们对大多的人、事、物都不怎么在乎，好象是以冷眼观世的态度活在这世上的，即便当他们非常在意某人某事的时候，也不会在他人面前轻易表现出来。想要了解一个双子的内心真的很难，连父母都不明白他们到底是什么样的性格，通常在父母眼里双子们不爱说话，行踪无定，在外的日子，很多时候他们会突然回到家出现在父母面前，很少会事先告诉他们今天回来。而在好多朋友的印象里，双子却并不怎么沉默，并且性格还算开朗，而双子自己明白，大多时候他是忧郁的，许多人看到的他跟自己的内心其实是完全不同的，这或许就是所谓的双重性格吧。许多人蔑视双子，那是因为他们不了解双子，双子的真诚与执著是其他人都望尘莫及的，双子想要做一件事不在乎其他人的感觉，双子对待别人虽然不甚亲切，然而即便厌恶你的时候也不轻易表露，他们的承受能力惊人的大，可是又有谁会明白他们心中的苦闷。正如有些人说的，生活真的很不容易，又何必再给他人增加烦恼。如果哪位达人理解双子的话，那他会明白双子其实在寻找一个孤寂的世界，把自己一个人埋没于此，不让任何人知道，因为双子不愿意看到有人为自己伤心，他们的苦愿意一个人承担。所以希望天下理解双子的人能够善待双子。

Posted at 12:07 am by funz
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Saturday, June 28, 2008

i am good but i am not nor there.

My mind is just random. After so long, my mind is still thinking randomly. But one thing for sure, I am back with leading a happier life. I抳e gotten back with the happier me and some of my treasured friends.

Talking about work, yes匢 am still stuck in the same place, the same boss and the same cubicle. My working life is improved. Perhaps it is a good news. Coz not only myself, to the rest of the employee, we are all happier with current working lifestyle. Coz no matter how bad the situation is, we don抰 need to stay our long night in office anymore. It is not the VT culture anymore. So whoever it is, don抰 bring it back to us. Thanks to the good bosses - 4 heavenly-king?! Haha.

No doubt I have been thinking of my future plan. I have been waiting for the right time, the right opportunities and the right company to work with. It抯 been almost 5 years in this cubicle. Do I still have rooms to grow and to improve? Not talking about the benefit that company has given me or am I paid good enough to my work. But seriously, many ppl told me 5 years in a company is freaking long and it is damn more than enough for me to go outside and find for more opportunities. I wasn抰 really care about what they said previously. But now, this has been bothering me quite sometimes.

I have to say I still love my job. I love my working colleagues. It has provided me a very comfort zone to work with and sometimes I think I am too comfort in this place and it has stopped me to move on. And also becoz of this comfort zone, I was giving too much my feelings towards the job and the relationship that I抳e built up with ppl in office and in the end, I felt down. I got hurt. I felt sad and disappointed. I wanted to run away from the reality and I wanted to quit twice. I choose to stay so I decided to change my mentality towards my work and I have to keep on reminding myself to take things easily and not to cross a line when dealing with ppl. Becos of this invisible line, I抳e grown up.

I went through a lot of things in this place. Now, I feel like leaving this place. I think it抯 time for me to move on, to leave this place and find for my own future again. Coz I have no more time to waste. I cant just forever stuck here and I don抰 think it will lead me to another better me. now my question is, do I just want to change a working environment? Or do I really want to try out something new? I really don抰 know. But I am still love them for now and frankly, I can抰 bear to leave.

I am so afraid of facing the separation. Especially to the close one. That抯 why I am indecisive of what action should be taken. Sometimes my mind telling me not to develop a new friendship with anyone anymore, the more I developed, the harder for me to leave this place. my decision is based on how good relationship I have with them. so in actual fact, I should have leave here for twice.

On the other hand, I would think if I just leave for now, I will give up anything easily next time. Coz the bond that I will going to have in other place will not as strong as what I have in this place anymore. 5 years time, it抯 not easy for anyone to go through it. How contradiction I am right now. And so I am confused and I need a good advice to lead me on.

I am good in everything but I am not here nor there. I am an asset for him but I am not at the advantage for my future. That抯 the problem I have right now.

Posted at 02:14 am by funz
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